Talk to Frank: How to use a cock ring

After Frank Ocean dropped a cock ring instead of a new album, we decided we'd make the most out of it

Hero image in post
photo: Jamie McCarthy / Getty
Hero image in post
photo: Jamie McCarthy / Getty

After Frank Ocean dropped a cock ring instead of a new album, we decided we'd make the most out of it

By Megan Wallace06 Feb 2023
6 mins read time
6 mins read time

If you're a Frank Ocean fan, you know disappointment. Not only was the man's last album drop all the way back in 2016, it seems like he'll put out just about anything other than music - a radio show, a fashion brand and even a cock ring. Yep, back in August the musician released a cock ring made from 18-carat yellow gold with a $25,000 price tag. Since we won't be able to afford a cock ring like this any time soon (especially since it seems to be sold out), we decided to do the next best thing - show you how to use a cock ring preferably not made out of gold. It's what Frank would want!

Here to bring us into the Fellowship of the Ring is Poppy Scarlett, a sex educator and the founder of online sex toy boutique Self & More.

How to use a cock ring

Cock rings are ring-shaped sex toys, made from materials like stretchy plastic or silicone. If you're wanting to use one, you may as well know how to put it on, for a start. Thankfully, Scarlett is on hand to give you a beginner's guide to this crucial first step.

"Using both hands to stretch the ring, place the ring at the base of the penis or around the penis and balls, being careful as to not pinch the skin or catch any hairs," says Scarlett.

Here, timing is important - you'll struggle to this when the dick is fully erect so try and get it on (no pun intended) before things really heat up. "It's often easier when the penis is flaccid or semi-erect to put on the cock ring," she says. "You can always apply a few drops of water-based lube to help ease it on."

If you're opting for a vibrating cock ring (more on that later) for sex involving a vulva, getting the right angle is really very important. "Position the vibrating part of the toy in a way that will allow it to make contact with the vulva-owner’s clitoris."

Why would you use a cock ring?

Now we've answered that all important q for you, it's time to reverse a little. What's the point in a cock ring? Like, what does it do..? Well, lots of lovely things, actually. "Cock rings are a versatile sex accessory that offer many benefits to both the wearer and their partner," Scarlett adds. "Depending on the style of cockring, they can either be worn around the base of the penis or around the penis and balls."

The concept is simple. "When a penis becomes erect, blood flows into it," says Scarlett. "A cock ring is designed to constrict the veins leading away from the penis, helping to keep more blood inside the erection by restricting the blood flowing out."

Yes, this probably sounds more than a little horrifying for those of you with a penis, but people are still into cock rings. Why? Well, they're designed to give fuller, harder erections.

There are some other benefits, too. "They can be a great tool for people who experience erectile dysfunction as they can contribute to maintaining erections, meaning the wearer can focus less on keeping their hard-on and more on the pleasure at hand," Scarlett explains. "The increased blood can also lead to increased sensitivity for the wearer."

How to use a cock ring with a partner

We're going to say the obvious here. If you like penetrative sex that involves a penis, well, cock rings are a great tool - mostly because they can make all that pleasure last longer.

However, if you get a vibrating cock ring, it has the endurance factor plus the promise of gorgeous tingly vibrations up the shaft for the wearer. When used for penis-in-vagina sex, there's the additional benefit of clitoral stimulation for the vulva-having partner.

Here, good form is important. "Whilst the penis is inside the vagina, the person penetrating can make grinding motions with their hips to maximise contact between the vibrations and the clit," Scarlett advises. "When it comes to pleasure and building towards orgasm - if that’s your intention, I’m a firm believer that great sex is all about the journey and not the destination - then consistent stimulation can help to build that orgasmic pleasure."

Obviously, here you're going to need some trial and error to get into the right position and you'll want to make sure that you use lube, just to help keep things nice and slippery.

But these toys aren't just for penetrative sex, at least not if you're feeling creative. "Cock rings can also be used in other kinds of sex; oral, anal or with hands," Scarlett adds. "Basically, any time that you want an extra boost, support in maintaining an erection or to give your package the wow factor, you can use a cock ring."

Is using a cock ring safe?

Not to ruin the fun, but what about safety concerns about cock rings? How do you make sure you have some responsible fun with your new toy, without going off the deep-end.

Here are Scarlett's expert tips - be sure to heed her warnings!

  • Choose a cock ring that is an appropriate size for your penis. You want it to fit snugly, but not too tight. You want to restrict blood flow, but not cut it off entirely.
  • You shouldn’t feel any discomfort. You should also easily be able to remove the ring when needed.
  • **Stay alert to any changes to your penis.**If you start to lose the feeling in your penis, feel pain or notice dramatic discolouration, remove it immediately.
  • Stick to a limit and take breaks. Most cock rings are suitable to be worn for around 20 to 30 minutes, at which point you should remove the ring and take a break and allow your body to resume normal blood flow. If needed, use a little lubricant to ease the ring off.
  • Choose a material you can trust. Silicone cock rings are the best for beginners as they’re stretchy and simple to use.