Watch out: TikTok could expose you as a cheater
A slew of infidelity scandals online have seen users playing amateur detective – here’s why this can easily go wrong
A slew of infidelity scandals online have seen users playing amateur detective – here’s why this can easily go wrong
Cuffing season is on the way out, and cheating spring is upon us. We’re not making this up: Instagram’s fave queer couple Sufi Sun and Anjali Chakra have called off their wedding, citing infidelity, while people in New York are looking to upturn a bill from 1907 to make adultery legal in the city. Then there’s the relentless furore directed at Ariana Grande for allegedly cheating and her pointed (musical) response that then broke the album charts. Even British Vogue is trying to understand why people cheat. Infidelity, it seems, is everywhere.
Of course when there’s whispers of a movement, TikTok is rarely far behind; in the last couple weeks, two massive cheating scandals have taken over the FYP. On March 10, lifestyle content creator Tiana Wiltshire kicked off a manhunt when she claimed someone whose name rhymes with “Cat Saddams” cheated on his fiancé at his bachelor party in Las Vegas. The video has over 25 million views and countless stitches where other TikTokers attempt to unmask the Vegas cheater, quickly piecing together that his name could be Matt Adams.
Days later, on March 14, Samantha Marks, an unrelated TikTok creator posted a video about yet another man who had allegedly been caught cheating. Marks was sat next to this person on a flight, and noticed him creating a Hinge profile under the name Bryan, after wrapping up a call with who appeared to be his wife and child. The popularity of this video had the search term ‘Bryan with a Y’ trending on the app, as people tried to bring another wronged woman to justice.
After eight videos and millions of views, when Marks finally found Bryan’s wife, she was low-key disparaging and high-key disappointed with how simple the situation was. Turns out, the wife already knew about Bryan’s Hinge endeavours and… doesn’t really care. All Marks’ exposé did was bring thousands of strangers’ opinions into a healthy relationship. The creator ended her video by saying she hopes the wife and other women realise that they “deserve better than Bryan with a Y”. Such claims are rooted in the outlook that monogamy is the correct option in life; it’s impossible for some people to imagine that the couple could be happily polyamorous or in an open relationship.
“Internet sleuthing is not a new phenomenon… there has long been a drive to expose celebrities for being inauthentic. Given that social media means anyone is potentially a celebrity, it makes sense that we are seeing people trying to expose the everyday person who is not as they seem,” Dr. Cobb explains. “Traditional media has always dealt in gossip to sell copies and attract clicks. In this era of participatory social media, we as individuals are creators of media as much as we are consumers. So it is to be expected that creators will seek to capitalise on their success.”
At what cost, though? Off the back of the success from the Bryan with a Y debacle, Marks has launched a series called Hot Goss on her TikTok, where she’ll reveal and discuss scandalous secrets that her followers submit anonymously. While the namelessness in this format makes it potentially less hurtful to the people involved – and has been common on podcasts such as Normal Gossip and Everybody Has A Secret – the source of Marks’ new-found success and community makes this series feel, well, a bit icky.
How long before another creator unleashes an army of sleuths on an unassuming stranger? Cheater or not, everyone deserves their right to privacy. After all, people just want to have dinner at their favourite restaurant without being prosecuted online. Put your phone down, and let the paparazzi be the paparazzi.